HP v LoK Formerly Harry Potter Out Takes
by Guardian of Tears
Summary: Hary Potter Out Takes? Do not worry, all will be explained within. it is updated when I feel like it and no sooned, okay!?
1. Hats, Dogs & Fan Girls! Insanity and Cha...

Disclaimer- I don't own Soul Reaver or any of the characters places or objects you see in the game. I don't own Harry Potter ether. Everything else is mine, so lay off! Now, on with the story….  
  
(Blank space, Guardian of Tears (GoT), walks out and smiles nervously at the camera.)  
  
GoT: Um, hi everyone, 'tis I. You may be wondering why there's something called Harry Potter out takes on the Lok section. Well it's because lack of funds meant that Soul Reaver had to be filmed on the same set as Harry Potter. This one I have just um, rescued, is called 'Hats, Dogs & Fan Girls! Insanity and Chaos Within!' Just to let you know that this situation has nothing to do with a certain author deciding that she needed a break and taking all the money and going on holiday with a certain vampire lieutenant.  
  
Cameraman: *Cough* Raziel *Cough*  
  
GoT: (Ignores him.) Anyway. This is the out take roll that the makers never wanted you to see. The one they locked deep in an underground vault. The one where I had to kill several demon guards to get at it.  
  
Now roll the clips!  
  
(Guardian of Tears, obviously thinking that the clips have started to roll. Scratches her arse and begins to flirt with someone her mobile/cell phone.  
  
GoT: No Razzy, baby, I think your eyes are better the way the abyss made them. If they didn't glow like that, then I would be able to find you in the dark. What? No, your room is better....  
  
(Notices that the camera is still rolling on her.)  
  
Steve! You pervert!  
  
(Guardian of Tears attacks Steve the cameraman with her axe and the camera goes to static.)  
  
Beep-beep  
  
* * * * * *  
  
Intro  
  
(Raziel walks into Kain's throne room. Instead of looking bored, Kain looks rather puzzled.)  
  
Kain: (As Raziel kneels down.) I think I'm sitting on something.  
  
(Kain pulls a squashed hat out from under him. Yep you guessed it. It's the Hogwarts sorting hat.)  
  
Kain: What the hell?  
  
Sorting hat: Oh my God! Did you have to fart on me!  
  
(The cast and crew all start to laugh. A Harry Potter Stagehand wearing a Hedwig T-shirt runs in.)  
  
HP Stagehand: Sorry! So sorry! We were filming the sorting scene and we left the hat behind.  
  
Sorting hat: The hat? The hat? I happen to be standing, er, being held, right here. Even props have feelings.  
  
(Everyone except the hat starts to laugh. Kain hands the hat to the stagehand and he runs off.)  
  
Director: Cut! Let's try that again people!  
  
(A loud bang is heard. Melchiah leaned against one of the pillars, sending it crashing through the scenery.)  
  
Beep-beep  
  
* * * * * *  
  
First confrontation with Kain  
  
(Raziel comes through the door, but, instead of Kain and the pillars, the place is set up as Hogwarts main hall. The HP crew are filming the scene when Harry and Ron are playing Chess and Hermione is talking to them.)  
  
Raziel: Erm, I think we have a double booking. (The kids spot him.)  
  
Hermione: Ooh look! It's Raziel! (They pounce on Raziel and he gives them his autograph.)  
  
Kain: (Bursts through the door.) Not late am I? (Notices the set is all wrong.) Um, is this the right studio?  
  
Ron: Wow! It's Kain! (Ron and Harry run to get Kain's autograph. Hermione is busy trying to flirt with Raziel)  
  
Raziel: It's not that I don't like you or anything. It's just that I would be breaking several laws by dating you. Besides, I already have a girlfriend. (Guardian of Tears teleports behind Hermione.)  
  
GoT: Hands of my man, Bitch!  
  
(Guardian of Tears hits Hermione on the head with her axe. Knocking her out.)  
  
Raziel: I had no idea Hermione was a fan girl.  
  
Beep-beep  
  
* * * * * *  
  
Confrontation with Melchiah  
  
(Raziel walks into Melchiah chamber. He sees a large shape in the shadows.)  
  
Raziel: Show yourself creature!  
  
(The shape lumbers out of the shadows, but it's not Melchiah.)  
  
Fluffy: Grrrrrrrr  
  
Raziel: Oh! Shit!  
  
Beep-beep  
  
* * * * * *  
  
I've run out of ideas. Anyone got anymore. I need ideas people to keep this going!  
  
Reviews for the nice Guardian please! 


	2. Why Guardian of Tears should be number o...

(The Tomb of the Sarafan. Guardian of Tears walks in. Steve the cameraman screams and runs away.)  
  
GoT: Steve! (Looks at the camera, it's still running.) Damnit! Hello everyone, welcome back to Harry Potter Out Takes. This particular roll, I had to bribe several of the Turelim who were guarding it into letting me have it. (A blue hand that looks suspiciously like Raziel's pokes out of a tomb and begins to edge towards Guardian of Tears.) This particular roll is called, er, (Takes a slip of paper out of her pocket.) 'Why Guardian of Tears should be number one on everyone's Beings to Avoid list.' Hum? Must be from the week I visited the set... (The hand grabs her around the waist and pulls her into the tomb with it.)  
  
GoT: (As she is pulled into the tomb.) Tomb Guardian! Stop the camera and start the clips! (She disappears into the tomb and giggling is heard. The tomb guardian ambles over and starts the clips.)  
  
Beep-beep  
  
* * * * * *  
  
Troll in the toilet scene- Harry Potter  
  
(The kids are trying to get Hermione out of the toilet when the troll comes in. However there's a small problem.)  
  
HP Director: What the blazes? That's not the troll we hired.  
  
Dumah: What's going on? The schedule said for me to go to set 5 for my scene. This isn't Soul Reaver!  
  
HP Producer: I think we've had another mix-up with the Legacy of Kain people sir.  
  
HP Director: Another one!? Damn the wench who calls herself Guardian of Tears! First she runs of with all the money so she can go gallivanting with that twice dead, faceless bastard! They she hits one of my stars over the head with that damned axe of hers so we have to put filming back for a week! Now she thinks it's funny to mix up the schedules.  
  
HP Producer: Sir? We don't know it was her.  
  
HP Director: I know it was her! I saw her messing about near the schedule room yesterday, God damnit... What's wrong with you people!? (All of the cast and crew of HP are staring in horror at something behind the director.) She's behind me, isn't she?  
  
GoT: At this stage in the proceedings I would just like to point out that as Guardian of Tears it is my job to bring tears to the eyes of people. Be those tears of sorrow or tears of laughter. (Begins to swing her axe in a menacing way.) And I don't appreciate you calling me a wench or calling my boyfriend a twice dead, faceless bastard. It's not nice.  
  
Dumah: (To Harry, Ron & Hermione) Run children! Run! Such things as are about to happen are not for the eyes of innocents! (He picks them up and runs like the buggery, closely followed by everyone else.)  
  
HP Director: No! Don't leave me here with this maniac! (Guardian of Tears advances on the director, grinning insanely.)  
  
Beep-beep  
  
* * * * * *  
  
(Meanwhile, the Soul Reaver crew is trying to film the confrontation with Dumah, with the Cave Troll.)  
  
Cave Troll: This is ridiculous! I'm supposed to be a Cave Troll, not a vampire!  
  
SR Producer: Sorry there seems to have been a little mix up-  
  
Cave Troll: I have spent months preparing for this role. You have no idea how long it takes to develop a convincing roar!  
  
SR Producer: I'm trying to find out where your supposed to be so if you would-  
  
Cave Troll: I mean, it's not as if it's a tiny role. It's quite major. The appearance of the Cave Troll (note the capital letters please!) Is the catalyst of the friendship with Hermione. If it wasn't for me then Hermione wouldn't be so big. In fact I made her into the star she is to-  
  
SR Producer: WILL YOU JUST SHUT UP!! (The Cave Troll looks quite shocked.) Your supposed to be a big bad cave troll and here you are whining like a little baby.  
  
Cave Troll: *mutter mutter*  
  
Raziel: So what are we doing? Are we filming? I have better things to do with my spare time that wait around all day while a troll does a diva.  
  
SR Director: Talking about Raziel's spare time, where's Guardian of Tears?  
  
SR Producer: And where's Dumah?  
  
Raziel: (Thinks for a moment.) Well, I saw Guardian teleport out of here about 10 minuets ago. I haven't seen Dumah at all today- (Dumah comes bursting in, followed by the HP cast and crew. Raziel spots Hermione.) Oh dear dark gods! Not her again!? (Waves his hands and vanishes into the spectral realm.)  
  
Dumah: Thank the dark gods!  
  
Harry: Aren't you a dark god?  
  
Dumah: Shut up, this isn't the time. There was a mix up with the schedules that was orchestrated by Guardian of Tears. The Harry Potter director called her a wench and Raziel a twice dead, faceless bastard, and you know she can't stand people calling her or Raziel names so she appeared behind him with that axe of hers and, and you can guess the rest.  
  
All present: *Shudder*  
  
Hermione: Hadn't we better do something? That poor man!  
  
HP Producer: Are you mad woman!? I'm not getting involved!  
  
SR Cameraman: That goes for the rest of us as well!  
  
Ron: Besides, she already hates you Hermione for hitting on her boyfriend.  
  
SR Director: It's ok people! It's ok! After she's done I'll contact Mortanius and have him bring the Harry Potter director back to life. (Looks sombrely at all present.) It's the only thing we can do.  
  
(In the distance Guardian of Tears' insane laughter can be heard echoing through the set. Everyone draws closer together, shuddering.)  
  
Beep-beep  
  
* * * * * *  
  
Quidditch Match- Harry Potter  
  
(The Soul Reaver director has given the cast the afternoon off, so they decide to watch the filming of Harry Potter. Hermione has managed to curb her wild, preteen lusts for Raziel after seeing the mangled corpse of the HP director, who has been restored to life by Mortanius.  
  
Mortanius: Don't mention it  
  
The HP director is now so terrified of Guardian that he lets her wander around with her axe wherever she likes. Today the HP crew are filming Harry's first Quidditch match.)  
  
Raziel: Awww, I wanna do that. (He point's to the students zooming about.)  
  
Turel: Well you can't so stop whining. (He grabs some popcorn from the Dumah's bag.)  
  
Raziel: It's thanks to you that I can't!  
  
Turel: What you yelling at me for? I'm not the one who ripped your wings out! It was Kain. I only tossed you into the abyss.  
  
Raziel: Yeah, why'd you do that Kain?  
  
(Kain stops with his mouth full of popcorn.)  
  
Kain: *Muff Muff*  
  
Raziel: What did you say?  
  
Zephon: Urgh! Kain! Don't talk with your mouth full! Yuk!  
  
Ariel: Boys, don't fight! I'm trying to watch this!  
  
Raziel: Well it's all right for you, you can float about.  
  
Ariel: Well, excuse me for not having legs!  
  
GoT: Well it's you own fault. (Ever loyal to her boyfriend.)  
  
Ariel: What the hell does that mean?  
  
GoT: Well you can't say that you didn't deserve to be horribly murdered!  
  
Ariel: What!?  
  
(Everyone stops to watch the two girls argue. A cat fight could break out any minuet!)  
  
Wood: What's going on? Whose making all that noise?  
  
HP Producer: It's the cast from Soul Reaver,-  
  
HP Director: Well tell them to shut up!  
  
HP Producer: And Guardian of Tears is with them!-  
  
HP Director: Don't tell them to shut up! Don't tell them to shut up! Er, we'll just keep filming and get rid of the arguing when we do sound edit.  
  
Harry: But I can't work with that yelling in the background!  
  
HP Producer: (Still giving a running commentary of the argument) She looks really mad!  
  
HP Director: Shush! Just stay quiet and they won't take any notice of us!  
  
(The HP crew try to film as quietly as they can while Guardian & Ariel continue their argument.)  
  
GoT: Well, it was you and that circle of yours that founded those maniac warrior-priests, the Sarafan. And who started the Vampire Purges.-  
  
Ariel: Well-  
  
GoT: And who had all the witches murdered.  
  
Ariel: Wait a minute! I don't remember that!  
  
GoT: It's in my witches fan fictions.  
  
Ariel: Ah! Wait, so you made me into a villain?  
  
GoT: Sort of, it was the circle you work for. Anyway, then you pretended to aid Kain in Blood Omen.  
  
Ariel: What do you mean pretended?  
  
Kain: What she means is that you told me the there was a way for me to cure my vampirism, when there wasn't. You tricked me!  
  
Ariel: Yeah, well, you don't mind!  
  
Kain: It's the principle, my dear casper.  
  
(Everyone except Ariel laugh.)  
  
Raziel: And in Soul Reaver you don't really help, all you do is give me cryptic clues that make no sense and usually point me in the wrong direction.  
  
Ariel: Why are you all picking on me?! I didn't chuck you into the abyss! I didn't rip your wings from you back!  
  
Rahab: But you didn't stop it! It took place at the Pillars of Nosgoth. You are cursed to haunt those Pillars. So therefore you would have seen everything.  
  
Ariel: I'm a ghost! I couldn't DO anything! If you want to blame someone, blame the script writer.  
  
Melchiah: She's right!  
  
GoT: Lets go get the script writer!  
  
(The SR cast march off and leave the HP people in peace.)  
  
HP Director: I really feel for that poor guy. Guardian has a BIG axe. Cut! Lets try that again with out the vampires, ghosts and assorted ghouls.  
  
Beep-beep  
  
* * * * * *  
  
Elder God's Dressing room- Soul Reaver set  
  
(The Elder God is sitting in front of his mirror, trying to learn his lines for 'The Drowned Abbey.')  
  
Elder God: Once a sanctuary against the vampire menace, this abbey has been drowned by the deluge spilling from this wounded land. Your brother Rahab and his brood, devastated even by the feeble rays of Nosgoth's sun, overcame their vulnerability to water and retreated from the surface. Now they haunt these ruins, and, and, damnit! I can't remember the rest.  
  
(He begins to flick through his script. Meanwhile outside...)  
  
HP Stagehand 1: Is this where it is?  
  
HP Stagehand 2: According to the map...  
  
HP Stagehand 1: Well a lot of funny things have been going on since that Guardian of Tears showed up....  
  
HP Stagehand 2: Shut up! Shut up! Shut up! If you say her name you call her to you.  
  
HP Stagehand 1: That's the Candy Man, and besides, I don't think that 'Guardian of Tears' is her real name.  
  
HP Stagehand 2: You don't?  
  
HP Stagehand 1: Well it's hardly a usual name, even for Nosgoth...  
  
(The Elder God is still blissfully unaware of the activity outside. Guardian of Tears and Raziel teleport into the room and Guardian casts a sleeping spell on the giant squid.)  
  
GoT: Now the fun begins.  
  
(The two HP stagehands come into the room.)  
  
HP Stagehand 1: Yuk! Is that it?  
  
HP Stagehand 2: Yep that's it, the Devils Snare.  
  
(The put the Elder God into a wheel barrow.)  
  
HP Stagehand 1: Um, should it snore like that.  
  
HP Stagehand 2: It's a plant! It can't snore.  
  
HP Stagehand 1: It sounds like it's snoring  
  
HP Stagehand 2: Well, it is a magical plant.  
  
HP Stagehand 1: Why is it in the Soul Reaver section?  
  
HP Stagehand 2: I don't know, lets just get out of here as fast as we can. Otherwise we may bump into her!  
  
(They scuttle of into the night, taking the Elder God with them.)  
  
Raziel: We are going to be in big trouble when they find out.  
  
GoT: Do I care?  
  
Raziel: No you don't. Our director will kill us thought.  
  
GoT: But Raz, (Quotes Elder God) As my agent, you are beyond death, Raziel. Your enemies cannot destroy you.  
  
Raziel: He didn't say anything about my boss.  
  
GoT: Oh look, we're in this room all by ourselves. (Puts her arms around Raziel's neck.) And none knows we're here. (She turns the little camera she planted in the Elder God's room earlier off.)  
  
Beep-beep  
  
* * * * * *  
  
Next Day  
  
The Devils Snare scene- Harry Potter  
  
(The kids fall through the trapdoor and land on what they believe is the Devils Snare.)  
  
Elder God: (As the kids land on him) Argh! It didn't do it! Nobody saw me do it! You can't prove a thing! What!?  
  
Everyone: Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!! It's talking!  
  
HP Director: What in the name of.... That plant wasn't supposed to talk! Call JK and ask her if the Devils Snare screams!  
  
Elder God: (Sleepily) I'm not a Devils Snare, i'm an Elder God.  
  
HP Producer: Elder God? That sounds Nosgothic.  
  
Ron: Guardian of Tears strikes again!  
  
(GoT & Raziel can be heard laughing in the distance.)  
  
HP Director: (Tiredly) Cut. Call the Soul Reaver Director and tell him to come and fetch his squid.  
  
Beep-beep.  
  
* * * * * *  
  
Well that's it for now. Many, many thanks to bahamut and Syvia for their ideas. I love you guys.  
  
Thanks to everyone for reviewing!  
  
Coming Soon: Potter's Vengeance.  
  
Those Vampires can't have all the fun can they? Muhahahahaha.  
  
Oh! Nearly forgot. The Pillars falling came from the Blood Omen Blooper Reel! I love it! I love it! I love it! Syvia you are a genius!  
  
I just thought that I should continue the tradition. And you may be interested to know that I have discovered why they keep falling. More on that next time! 


	3. Potter's Vengeance!

Thank to everyone for reviewing. You guys are the best!  
  
* * * * * *  
  
(The Razielim Clan Territories. Guardian walks into view. She is wearing a bathrobe.)  
  
GoT: Welcome to the humble abode of my beloved. I can't talk long because I left the man in question in the bath. Welcome to part three of my Harry Potter Out Takes. This is starting to turn into a little story isn't it? Us against Hogwarts. Hehehehe. This reel is called 'Potter's Vengeance'. I got this one, I had to route round Melchiah's insides to get at. Hence the need for a bath. The boy tried to stop me from finding it by swallowing it. Then he got himself mashed up. So he really needn't had bothered giving himself indigestion.  
  
Raziel: (Off screen) Guardian! Are you coming?  
  
GoT: Just a sec! (Runs over to the camera and starts the clips.)  
  
Beep-beep  
  
* * * * * *  
  
Why do the Pillars keep falling?  
  
(The LoK crew are trying to film a pillar scene, with out much luck.)  
  
Kain: What I have made, I can also destr- Oh! For the love of the dark gods!  
  
(The Pillar of Nature has just fallen over.)  
  
Raziel: That's the 65th time this week! What the hell is wrong with these Pillars!  
  
GoT: (Teleports into the room and is now sitting on top of a camera, she begins to sing to the tune of 'London Bridge') 'Nosgoth pillars are falling down, falling down, falling down. Nosgoth pillars are falling down, my fair lady!  
  
SR Director: Shut Up! (Guardian falls of the camera.)  
  
Raziel: What are you doing here, oh moon of my delight?  
  
GoT: I came to see why you are so later home. (Pouts) I made dinner for us.  
  
Raziel: Sorry sweetheart but we haven't finished filming.  
  
SR Director: While you're here why don't you make yourself useful and see what's the matter with those damn pillars!  
  
GoT: Faulty equipment?  
  
SR Props Manager: I don't think so! I've checked these pillars a zillion times, these nothing wrong with them technically.  
  
SR Stagehand: We think it may be something magical.  
  
SR Director: And you're our magic person.  
  
Raziel: Come on honey. The sooner we finish this scene, the sooner we can go home and have dinner.  
  
GoT: Well, since it's you. (Climes down off her camera and walks over to the pillars. The crew watch in silence as she inspects each pillar in turn, muttering to herself. She comes to the pillar of balance last.) Aha! (Everyone cranes forward to see what she's found.)  
  
Kain: What is it?  
  
SR Director: What have you found?  
  
(Guardian ducks to the floor and holds something aloft. A small, red badge with letters on it.)  
  
Steve the Cameraman: (Reads the writing on badge.) Spew?  
  
GoT: No! S. P. E. W. I think I know whose behind all this. Everyone pack up! Go home! Raz, Kain, all the vampires in fact. Stay here with me, you too Ariel and you Steve. We're gonna get to the bottom of this!  
  
Beep-beep  
  
* * * * * *  
  
The Pillars of Nosgoth-nighttime  
  
(All the vampires, with Guardian, Steve & Ariel, have waited for five hours at the pillars. Guardian refuses to tell them what's going on or what their waiting for. She's just told Steve to keep the camera running. In is now coming towards midnight.)  
  
Dumah: (As a clock strikes midnight.) The witching hour.  
  
(All look at Guardian.)  
  
GoT: What? (For those that don't understand this, Guardian is a witch goddess.)  
  
Kain: Shut up! I think I can hear something!  
  
(Voices are heard in the corridor outside.)  
  
Unknown Voice 1: Are you sure this is a good idea?  
  
Unknown Voice 2: Of course it is!  
  
Unknown Voice 1: But it's vindictive  
  
Unknown Voice 3: No it's not! She's the one whose vindictive  
  
Unknown Voice 4: Well I think...  
  
Unknown Voices 2&3: NO ONE CARES WHAT YOU THINK!  
  
(The doors of the room open to reveal four figures)  
  
Melchiah: Who is it?  
  
GoT: Shush!  
  
(The figures walk over to the pillars. The only female crouches on the floor and mutters something.)  
  
Unknown Voice 3: Collapiscus!  
  
GoT: Hiya, all you happy people!  
  
(The lights come on revealing Harry, Ron, Hermione and the HP director)  
  
Hermione & HP Director: Oh bugger!  
  
Harry: Just to let you know...  
  
Ron: We were against this from the start!  
  
Harry: Both of us!  
  
Ron: Run for it!  
  
(The run out of the room as if the hounds of hell are after them. This could very soon be a reality, considering the company present. Hermione and the HP Director make for the door.)  
  
Ariel: No you don't!  
  
(The doors slam shut.)  
  
Hermione & HP Director: CRAP!  
  
Raziel: Nice piece of magic Guardian.  
  
GoT: Err, it wasn't me.  
  
Raziel: Huh?  
  
Ariel: Ahem...  
  
(All look at her.)  
  
Just because i'm dead doesn't mean I lost the ability to perform magic!  
  
All: Wow!  
  
Kain: (Sulkily) You could have told us.  
  
Rahab: That is irrelevant. The most pressing matter is, What are we going to do with these unfortunate cattle?  
  
GoT: I knew it was them. That badge I found was Hermione's. S.P.E.W. The Society for the Promotion of Elvish Welfare. She founded it.  
  
(To Hermoine.)  
  
So, you've been performing weak human magic on these pillars. Making them fall. Someone could have been killed.  
  
(Pulls out her axe. The vampires bare their fangs.)  
  
Hermione: No! You wouldn't!  
  
Ariel & Steve: I don't want to watch this!  
  
(They run out, or in Ariel's case, float out.)  
  
Raziel; It's ok, we can get Mortanius to resurrect you afterwards.  
  
GoT: So that means you can't devour their souls Raz.  
  
Raziel: It that case I shall leave. See you later.  
  
(Raziel exits, leaving Hermione and the HP director to their fate. As Kain walks past the camera, he turns it off.)  
  
Beep-beep  
  
* * * * * *  
  
Owls, Argh!  
  
(Raziel approaches the Santurary of the Clans for the first time.)  
  
Raziel: My God...  
  
(The SR Director nods and tells Steve to pan the camera round the courtyard. Showing just how decimated and derelict the world has become. However.)  
  
SR Producer: Hey! Why is that raven white!?  
  
(Everyone looks to where she is pointing. Instead of ravens perched on top of the Santurary, there are...)  
  
Raziel: Owls?  
  
(Thousands upon thousands of owls are perched all over the set. Think 'The Birds' and you've got the picture.)  
  
SR Director: What the hell is going on?  
  
(At that instant all the owls launch of their perches and start to do what birds do best.)  
  
All: Arghhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
(Every one begins to run for cover.)  
  
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Raziel: (Pounding on the Clan Sanctuary door.) Kain! Kain! Let us in! LET US IN!!!!!!!!  
  
Kain: (From inside) What?  
  
SR Producer: LET US IN NOW!!!!!!!!!  
  
Steve: PRONTO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
SR Director: THAT'S AN ORDER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
(The doors open and everyone runs in.)  
  
Kain: Yuk! What the hell happened to you!?  
  
Raziel: Nasty! Where's the water?  
  
Kain: You're not immune to water yet.  
  
Raziel: DAMN!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Beep-Beep.  
  
* * * * * *  
  
(Five hours later)  
  
SR Producer: Are they gone?  
  
Kain: Dunno. Raziel, you go out and see.  
  
Raziel: Why me!?  
  
SR Director: Because someone has to!  
  
Raziel: Ooh, all right.  
  
(Walks outside.)  
  
Raziel: (Calls from outside.) Looks all clear......Ahh!  
  
(Splat!)  
  
Kain: Raziel! Are you ok!?  
  
(Raziel walks in and wipes white gunk from his face.)  
  
Raziel: This. Means. War!  
  
Beep-beep  
  
* * * * * *  
  
(Raziel and Guardian walk on screen.)  
  
GoT: Ooh! This doesn't look good dose it? What going to happen to the Harry Potter people? Well you're gonna have to wait because Mrs. Weasly got that tape and she's hidden it somewhere.  
  
However I do have a tip from 'anonymous' informant.....  
  
Raziel: Ahem.  
  
GoT: That a reel called 'There's a very good reason why there are no Unicorns in Nosgoth' is hidden near Zephon's Cathedral. So if you don't mind, we're off to do a little treasure hunting.  
  
Kain: (Off screen) In the name of all that's unholy, you aren't going to show that one!?  
  
GoT: Of course I am! Muhahahahaha!!!!!!!!  
  
Reviews please. 


	4. Help this poor writer, please.

Without giving to much away..... I need help!  
  
What do you think high vampires would get up too?  
  
Any ideas would be most appreciated. 


End file.
